FOUR WHEEL DRIVER ESCAPES DEATH BY INCHES.

A four wheel drive club member narrowly escaped death on the weekend when a huge branch from a gum tree crashed down on his tent at Shallow Crossing. Luckily, Mr. Ken Clarke, a member of the Jackaroo 4WD Club was not in the tent at the time otherwise he would have been seriously injured, or even killed. Mr Clarke, who was still too shaken by his near death experience to be interviewed, was reported to be recovering with friends at a 'happy hour' hurriedly arranged by fellow club members to comfort him.

A spokesman for Mr Clarke said that it very obvious that he was extremely shaken and upset by the incident and was still in a confused state of mind as he was giving away stubbies of beer to anyone willing to take one. When questioned, Mr Clarke's spokesman said that although Mr Clarke was miles away from his tent when the tree branch fell and ripped the awning off his tent, he was so upset by his possible near death experience that he wanted it to be a stark reminder to all fellow club members that it was far safer to stay in any local club or pub, than to stay in a tent.

In the initial confusion, the fate of Mr Clarke's diminutive travelling companion, Ken van Gnome was completely overlooked but a frantic search and rescue operation was launched and Ken van Gnome was soon found beneath the foliage of the fallen branches but unable speak, move or show any signs of life. Mr Clarke showed no sign of concern by his friends condition, because, as he said... “that he had never known him to be in any other state”.

One of the first things that Mr Clarke asked when he began to realise the extent of the damage, was if the repairs could be claimed under warranty. The retailer, (Mr Joseph) who happened to also be on the trip referred him to the distributor, (Mr Brew) who was also on the trip. Neither the retailer nor the distributor would comment but inferred strongly that Mr Clarke should think himself lucky to be alive and not even consider lodging a warranty claim if he really wanted to stay alive.

No believing in the old adage that ‘lightning did not strike in the same place twice’, Mr Clarke was last seen dragging his damaged tent, minus the awning, together with his tiny friend Ken van Gnome, to another campsite well away from any overhanging trees,

A fellow camper was later heard to say that Mr Clarke's 30 second Oz-tent was now a 25 second tent as he did not now have to worry about putting up the awning.